I AM a Real Mom… Are You??


I know it may seem I have it all together on this website.  I share all the tips and tricks that work for me, raising three kids under three and keeping up a house.  But what you don’t know is that I often feel like a failure!

I yell way too much at my kids.  I spend way too much time online.  (Usually brushing away my children as I look up activities to do with them!  Ironic, huh?)  My fans need major dusting and cleaning.  My girls’ sheets don’t get changed for waaay too long.  And those bell peppers I bought for cheap?  They rotted in the refrigerator!

My worst pitfall as a mother and housewife is the laundry.  I loathe doing it.  How we have so much of it boggles my mind.  And when I think about how much more we will have as we have more kids, I seriously think about hiring a maid just to clean and put away our clothes.  Seriously.

The reason I started A Purpose Driven Home was to help keep me accountable just as much as it was to help others out there.  I often think of the strategies I am sharing with you and try to remember to use them (and keep using them!) in my own home.

So, please don’t think… “Wow, what a super mom!  I suck at this!”.  Because that is not my intention.  I want to be real with you.  I desire to be a successful mom and wife.  Everyday I keep trying and keep looking for ways to do that.  But I also fall short everyday.  And I have just as many bad days as you.

Laurie from Passionate Penny Pincher shared her struggles as a mom in this post, which originated from this post from Laura at Heavenly Homemakers.  Both are very encouraging as a mom and will definitely make you smile.  And also hopefully sigh and say, “Thank you, Lord, that I am not alone!”  ;)

Are YOU a real mom??
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17 Responses to I AM a Real Mom… Are You??

  1. Amy says:

    Oh girl, I can very honestly say I am a real mom. I keep wanting to be super mom, but most days I would settle for adequate mom. And as for our laundry situation, things will be pretty desperate here if my baby spits up all over me again. Which he manages to do at least once a day. My house smells like spit up. I cannot get the icky smell out of the diaper pails. The computer room could be featured on hoarders. I am a very real mom.

    • Carolyn says:

      Amy, you just made my day! :) Why we try to pretend we have it all down I have no clue! It’s so encouraging to hear other moms struggling as well. Not that I want us to struggle but just to know that it’s ok if your house smells like spit up. (Because oh my goodness, MINE DOES!) My past two have been REALLY bad spitter-uppers, so I completely understand. And we gave up on the diaper pail after it attracted so many bugs! We just bag the dirty diapers (or dump the poo in the toilet) and throw in the outside trash can. lol. Hey, it works for us, right? :) So glad you shared with us!!!

  2. Wow….you and I sound like the same person! :) There are some days where I think, “What did I do all day?” (only I’m allowed to think that…my hubs better not…). I have actually read a couple blog posts that have helped me, one just recently.

    I dislike laundry too…..with a passion even! I read this post and I think I will try it out next time I’m down in the basement folding clothes. Here is the link: http://mylifeonataffypull.blogspot.com/2011/07/laundry-mundane-or-marvelous.html

    I have always wanted to be a supermom until I read this post: http://abidingmom.blogspot.com/2010/02/abiding-mom-vs-supermom.html

    I hope those posts help you. I know that they’ve helped me. And thank you for being real! I appreciate realness more than most qualities.

    • Carolyn says:

      Thanks, Jessica, for sharing! :) I actually read that post on laundry and really was encouraged. Such a great way to look at it! I will check out the other one too. :)

  3. Anna says:

    Thanks for keeping it real! I know I am definitely a real mom. Most days I feel like I am bailing water out of a sinking boat, and I only have one child. I love your site because it truly motivates and inspires me! It is so refreshing to have another mom just be totally honest. It seems like their is an expectation among other moms to try to pretend that we have it all together, when in reality we are all struggling and need to encourage each other.

    • Carolyn says:

      Amen, sista! ;) And thank you for your kind words! It’s encouraging to know that what I am learning is helping someone else. It makes the struggles and harder days worth it. :)

  4. Norma says:

    Hi, All,
    This is Carolyn’s mother in law and i have to say Carolyn is one super mom. The way she balances everything amazes me. Just on Monday when we were over celebrating the 4th her house was so clean. I noticed it because i had been there the day before and wondered how she managed to accomplish that in such a short timeframe. I know she had to have worked hard at it and with 3 little ones its not easy. She humbly said it didn’t take much time. We as mom’s strive for perfection in our homes, in our kids, in our relationships but that is just not the real world. Frankly, if I had had more than my one son, I dont think I could have been nearly the kind of mom & wife that Carolyn is.

    • Carolyn says:

      And then you came over today and saw the picture above (that picture is a REAL LIVE picture of what my dining room area looks like right now!) and said, “Wow! What happened here?!” LOL. :) If I really am a super mom (which I know I am not), it’s only because God gave me an incredible mother-in-law who is truly like a mother and an amazing grandmother to her grandchildren. Same goes for “Papa”! And Norma, your son is quite a lot to handle, usually referred to as my 4th child! I think God looked down on you and said, “Oh my… I think one is enough!” ;) Love you!

  5. Courtney says:

    I love you and you’re amazing. I love that we are so alike and have so much in common and we can deal with so much together. I love that you are such an encouragement and a support to me. I love that you share all your tips online bc it’s so helpful to so many people. I love that you’re a real mom who deals with real struggles. And I love how you try so hard to be such a great mom, wife and friend. Thank you for being you, Carolyn. I’m so glad to know you! You are such a blessing, not only to me but to your family, as well. You’re doing a great job!

    • Carolyn says:

      You know, Courtney, I have a card addressed to you sitting in a pile somewhere waiting to be sent that says almost this same exact thing, but about you! God knew the journey I would be taking long before I did and I love that He made our paths cross again so we can share in it together. You, my dear, and your family are a huge encouragement and blessing to me and my family. xoxo!

  6. Carolyn says:

    I must say, friends, that I did NOT expect all the kind words and personal stories of the same struggles when I wrote this. But THANK YOU so much for sharing, being honest, and encouraging this very humbled mamma!!!

  7. Laurie says:

    Oh Carolyn . . . I soooooooo am with you! My biggest struggle is undoubtedly the amount of time I spend online – and trying to balance that (especially when I justify it as “work”) with my fleeting time with little ones at home is more than I can handle most days. . . ughhhhh! The days of spit up really do past, but then they seem to move on to mud-covered baseball pants and crumblies all over everything (that one hasn’t gotten better yet for us.) Thanks for your honest – you just made my day when I read this! :)

    • Carolyn says:

      Laurie, that has been my biggest struggle recently!! I finally told hubby that we really need to keep each other accountable in that area and I set myself times that I can only be on the computer. Hopefully I can stick to them. I hate feeling like I didn’t really spend any time with my kids at the end of the day. And I hear ya on the “crumblies”! :) I find myself having to restrain from yelling at the girls to stop throwing every single toy and object they touch on the floor. And to just be thankful that I have toys to trip over and pick up for the thousandth time. Those toys are played with by beautiful, innocent and precious hands and they deserve the best of me, not my leftovers. I just need to remind myself that everyday. Thanks for reading, Laurie! :)

  8. Heidi Wilson says:

    Hi! I have been reading your blog off and on for awhile but this is the first time I feel compelled to leave a comment. THANK YOU for this post and how I have needed to read it after the last few days I have had. I have felt like the worst mom in the world as I battled the emotional rollar coaster that is PMS! It is SO helpful to know that other moms out there yell at their kids and have a chore that they struggle to keep up with!! I LOVE doing the laundry but LOATHE washing dishes and my children always seem to need me the most when I run the water in the sink. I am also embarking on the homeschooling road and so I am always interested in your school oriented posts. I live in Sydney, Australia and have a 5yr old boy and a 2yr old boy and we are just starting the process of creating a 3rd baby ;-) ! I have blogs as well but they are private – however, if we get to know each other a bit more I would be happy to invite you. Thanks again for your honesty in your blog and I look forward to reading much more!!

    • Carolyn says:

      Thank you for sharing, Heidi! Washing dishes is my second least favorite chore. I dread doing them but I can’t stand waking up to a sinkful of dirty dishes! Is it just me or does it always feel like a push and pull tug of war as a mom?! I wish I had more school oriented posts for you! But since our oldest will be 3 in November, she still has a bit of a ways till we get there. I may start preschool with her early next year. However, I have started looking into homeschooling and curriculums to use and boy, it’s a little overwhelming! I will definitely share with you what I am finding as I go along, though. :) And good luck with the baby-making! ;) Your kids will be such great little helpers when you do have your 3rd one! And boys… sigh. I’d love one but with 3 girls, I’d feel bad for the boy if we ever do get one! :) I look forward to keeping in touch!!

  9. Sue Morrison says:

    Carolyn-Isn’t it funny? The only household chore that I don’t mind- I can really say that I actually like doing is….laundry! I like the smell of clean laundry, I like folding it, and I love taking the mess of dirty, stinky laundry and making it all like new! I love it when Whitney’s here and I can do her & Albert’s laundry too! Now, everything else, I have a cleaning person for! (Except dishes, which I loathe!)

    • Carolyn says:

      I so very wish I loved laundry! I need to seriously start praying for that! And I dread dishes as well. I hope to see you soon! And Whitney!

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