When starting A Purpose Driven Home, I made sure to include a Marriage section. Mainly because I firmly believe in daily making your marriage a top priority.
The thing with marriage, though, is that it’s tough. Super tough some days. And one thing that makes our marriages so tough is the issue of communication.
We simply do not know how to communicate in a way that is… well… mature and grown up. We almost resort back to that childhood stage of throwing tantrums and being nasty.
Honestly, this is one of the biggest problems in our house. My husband clams up with his issues and I get impatient and frustrated. We both have miles to go in regards to communicating in a loving and productive way.
I found this article over at Simple Marriage to be a good starting point for us both. The author states that
“…communicating in marriage is all about being able to handle the message… When two people are able to handle the message, honesty increases. And when honesty in a relationship increases, you grow more as an individual and closer together. And through this growth you are capable of reaching new levels of passion and intimacy.“
Handling the message is my big issue. When hubby does decide to communicate with me, I don’t take the time to really listen, think through what he is saying, and respond in a mature and loving way. Being honest is hubby’s big issue. Instead of just telling me what he thinks or feels, he will usually shut down.
I love the author’s three ways to better communicate. Here’s my take on them…
- Speak Up - We cannot assume our partners know how we feel or can read our minds. Saying how we feel or what we think in a loving (and not attacking) way is a great way to begin successful communication.
- Make the obvious, obvious - Instead of ignoring the fact you are in a bad mood, simply say it. “Honey, right now I feel overwhelmed and irritated. Can I have five minutes by myself?”
- Grow Up – Realizing that being an adult is no fun sometimes, marriage takes work, and you don’t always get your way are three huge steps in becoming an adult and therefore acting like an adult. “Kicking and screaming into adulthood”, as the author puts it, is only going to make things worse.
To read more of the article, head over here to Simple Marriage. I do not agree with every word this site offers, but I do think some of the tips and ideas behind them can help make our marriages more successful and lasting.Photo Credit