Ok, so I know I already announced that baby #4 was going to be a girl. That was at 17.5 weeks at an ultrasound boutique place. One of those home-theater-type places where your entire extended family can fit nicely into and see the baby. We had to go twice because the umbilical cord was giving the woman a tough time determining baby’s gender. However, the second time she was positive it was a girl.
Today I went for my 20 week ultrasound check up at my doctor’s office. When I mentioned it being a girl, she gave me a funny look. When I asked her if she thought it was a boy, she said yes! And then flipped the screen to show us some major and very obvious boy parts!!!
Oh my goodness, I thought it was all a dream or big prank! While we were very excited and not at all disappointed with a fourth girl, the fact that baby #4 is a boy is an unexpected blessing. Truly a gift.
I’d be happy with all girls. Really I would. Yes, in my heart, I would love a boy. But we all have something we dream of, right? It doesn’t mean you aren’t extremely happy and thankful for what you have.
So, to be given this dream… Well, I am very moved by the grace of God.
I have to be honest, the past few weeks for me as a mom have been hard. Really hard. And while hubby and I have made the decision to trust God with how many children we have, the past few weeks I have had my doubts. Many doubts at being able to handle more.
Hubby says I am super emotional today, so he laughed when I texted him this following message while he was at work…
I am so overwhelmed right now by the grace of God in giving us this boy. To be given a gift that I did want but was truly ok in not having is… I don’t know. I feel so unworthy. I wonder if it has to do with me not wanting to have more lately. And God is saying I love you. I want you to keep doing this. I am with you so you are strong enough.
Sounds very emotional as a rewrite it here. lol. And probably is. But in my heart, I feel touched, loved and renewed by God. To be given the gift to have a son. And my daughters to have a brother. It is truly incredible. And I am so very thankful.*Click image for photo credit.